Navigating Grief and Justice: Advocacy for Families Impacted by Violent Crime

Scharnelle Hamlin, M.Ed., MA, CRT, C.A., is the Homicide Support Group Coordinator with the Virginia Victim Assistance Network.

A resident of Surry County, Virginia, a rural town in the Tidewater region, Scharnelle Hamlin is a dedicated Nationally Credentialed Advocate with over 18 years of experience in victim advocacy and a decade of experience in crisis response. Holding the esteemed designation of Comprehensive Victim Intervention Specialist, Scharnelle has provided unwavering support to homicide survivors and trauma victims, ensuring they receive the resources and assistance needed to regain control of their lives.

Throughout an extensive career, Scharnelle has worked in various capacities, including victim-witness services, crisis response, mental health counseling, and community resource coordination. Passionate about fostering resilience, justice, and healing, Scharnelle continues to be a driving force in supporting individuals through some of their most challenging moments. She is the proud mother of two sons Ja’Khi Xavier and Christian Troy and the only child of Jeanette Taylor. Scharnelle believes that you do not have to see the entire staircase to take the first step, but with discipline, dedication, and perseverance, you can reach the top of them all.

How do the virtual support groups differ from in-person meetings, and what has been the response from participants?

Virtual homicide support groups differ from in-person meetings by offering greater accessibility, flexibility, and anonymity, allowing participants to join from anywhere. They eliminate travel barriers and can provide a sense of comfort for those who may struggle with in-person interactions. However, they may lack the deep emotional connection and physical presence that in-person meetings provide.

Responses from participants vary—some appreciate the convenience and ability to connect with a wider network, while others feel virtual meetings are less personal and miss the physical support found in face-to-face gatherings. Some group members appreciate virtual group more so than in-person because they have the option to have their cameras off until they feel more comfortable with sharing. They feel as though their voice still matters and that they are heard.

Can you speak to the balance between personal grief and professional advocacy? How do you maintain your own well-being while helping others?

Balancing personal grief with professional advocacy requires setting clear emotional boundaries, practicing self-care, and seeking support when needed. I have a therapist, and I acknowledge my grief head-on. Places that are traumatic for me, I do not go. Activities that remind me of my nephew's passing, I don't attend. It is imperative that advocates acknowledge their own grief while ensuring it doesn’t overwhelm their ability to help others.

Strategies I have used in the past and present include therapy, peer support, mindfulness, and scheduled time away from advocacy work to recharge. Maintaining this balance helps prevent me from burnout and ensures long-term effectiveness. For me, transforming my personal loss into advocacy provides purpose and healing, but it’s crucial to recognize personal limits and prioritize well-being to sustain both personal and professional commitments.

How has your personal healing journey informed the work you do with other survivors and families? Are there any particular lessons you’ve learned along the way that you share with those you support?

My acronym for TEARS is what I have learned the most. T-Tough E-Experience A- Always R-Reveal S-Strength. My strength has allowed me to connect with survivors on a much deeper level. My personal healing journey often strengthens the empathy I have for them. It fosters a unique understanding of grief’s complexity, making it easier to validate others' emotions and guide them with authenticity. Many who have endured loss emphasize the importance of patience—grief has no timeline.

A key lesson shared with survivors is that healing is not about “moving on” but about finding ways to carry love and memories forward. Also, I realize that self-care and seeking support are essential because isolation can intensify pain. Ultimately, leading with compassion while honoring one’s own healing is crucial in advocacy.

What do you hope attendees will take away from the upcoming webinar?

I hope that the attendees have a better understanding of grief and the journey through it. I want to understand the importance of balancing self-care with advocacy. Building strength through support systems is vital to one's healing and realizing that there is a purpose through their pain.

What’s a fun fact about yourself that most people wouldn’t guess from hearing about your work?

I am terrified of three things: the dark, blood, and needles and depending on the severity of the incident, I will pass out. There is a very comical story that took placed while serving in the military, and I saw my very first open wound. I also did not hold my children when they were first bathed and washed. LOL